Burning Pages to Read By--GMing Through Burnout
It's been a hell of a year
But today--today is a beautiful day. Let me paint you the picture: it's raining right now. I have the window open and a pleasant cool breeze blows across my armchair. That's where I am, by the way. I've got jazz on the radio, my laptop in my lap, and a nice rum and diet Pepsi to my side. I don't work tomorrow, either (I write this on Sunday night--who can say if this is the time I end up publishing it). Tomorrow is the start of my summer vacation, one that for the first time in my decade-long career in education I actually believe deep down that I deserve.
But this summer isn't going to just be roses and sunshine. I have a job to do--the hard, laborious job of recovering from the deep burnout I've been in since at least February.
A caveat:
I want to make one thing perfectly clear about this post--my burnout is decidedly not game related. I know that "GM Burnout" is a thing that gets a lot of playtime in some circles. I don't know why somebody would choose to play a game that drains them, but you have my sincerest sympathy if that is in the position you find this article in. You will find no help here aside from a firm reminder to set boundaries in your life.
No--I'm talking about something else: how to GM through burnout.
a secondary caveat
Obviously, this is just my personal experience. I'm not an expert in mental health. I'm just talking about what I did to keep playing when everything wanted me to stop.
Burning Pages to Read By
I'm reminded of a scene from House of Leaves--where the protagonist Will Navidson is at his lowest point and trapped in darkness. Sorry--minor spoilers for House of Leaves in 2026 I guess.
Will burns the pages of the book he's reading in order to read the subsequent pages. Without burning the pages, he cannot read the book. If he can't read the book, he has nothing else. He might as well die. But the pages are a finite resource--shouldn't he spend the paper on productive things, like trying to find a way out? Despite this, he chooses to burn the pages to keep reading.
I've thought of this scene many times over the past half a year--usually when I've trudged home exhausted and mentally beaten, and I have exactly one hour in which to prep for the game I'm running that evening, and clean my apartment enough so that other people can exist in it. Cleaning, I've found, is the first thing I drop when I'm truly at the end of my mental limit. You see the analogy I'm making, I'm sure.
So why not drop the game? Well, gaming is fuel. When I'm not running a game, I feel less like a person. I measure time by my gaming schedule. And, when things get rough, I know that gaming is what I can always reach to. Many days, the only light at the end of the tunnel was the next gaming session. Like Will Navidson, if I didn't burn the pages to keep reading, I'm not sure I would have the strength to keep on going.
In a very literal way, my games saved my life this year.
But balancing games and life can be difficult when the going gets rough. I've got below (in no particular order), some of the lessons I've learned over the past four months that helped keep me gaming when my whole world was burning.
1. Identify the essential
Look--when things are bad and you have limited space in your life, you have to separate the wheat from the chaff and interrogate your why. Why are you there? Is it because of social inertia? Or is it because you are valuing the game? Or because of friends?
I'm not saying that any of these reasons are inherently bad or good--but with limited energy you must be able to accurately look at the situation and determine if you even want to be there.
Some questions you can ask yourself:
- Are you engaged in the game? Or do you frequently find yourself distracted?
- Is the conversation around the table enjoyable? Or does everyone look at their phones until the GM decides to start?
- Is it a style of game you enjoy? Or are you only there out of social pressure?
- Do you feel energised by a game, or do you feel drained?
- Are you looking forward to the next session? Or do you feel inconvenienced?
- Are you allowing schedule conflicts to override the game? Or do you feel like the game is a priority?
2. Step back from the unessential
Now that you've found what is essential, you now have to do the hard work of stepping back from what is unessential. In my case, I had to do what was once unimaginable--I stepped away from a game I had been playing in weekly for 10 years.
This was the game that got me into the hobby. But, when I actually looked at why I was going, I realised that I wasn't really enjoying the game, and that I also wasn't really enjoying the company. Two of the players who I really enjoyed playing with had moved on for one reason or another. The others were either acquaintances, or people who I had other social ties with.
It was also a game in a style that I just really don't enjoy anymore. We started this game in 2016--at the birth of 5E. The playstyle of this group is trad to the core, and over time it has become increasingly so. Straight 5E, with a few home-rules to make combat "more realistic".
And so it went. I don't miss it.
I also stepped away from some of the more creatively taxing parts of the hobby. No blog posts, no game jams. I haven't kept up with news, and my Discord notifications have grown wild. I'll get back to those things--this post is basically just an excuse to get writing again. But in the depths of burn out? You have to recognise what you do and don't have time for.
3. Mind the Sabbath Day and Keep it Holy
So, now that you've stepped away from your non-essential gaming, what's left are the games that are essential. A weird side tangent--unfortunately I'm Catholic, and I'm gonna get liturgical here for a second.
Have you ever wondered why church is the same day of the week every week? It's about routine. In a Catholic service, nothing new is ever asked of you. It's the same thing, every time. Heck, even the Bible readings each week are mapped out on a three year cycle. It's predictable. You just have to show up and do the thing you do every week. Peace be with you and with your spirit. Lift up your hearts we lift them up to the Lord. Let us give thanks to the Lord our God it is right and just.
And, hey, it is truly right and just--the routine, that is. It's a time to just let my brain go and follow along with a pattern for awhile. It's permission to not do anything. There are no surprises. There is no mental effort expended. You just show up, and do the thing. That's why you keep the Sabbath day. It's a day of rest. And so is your game day.
Protect it.
You have to keep a consistent schedule with your essential games, or it will quickly find its way out of your schedule for good. Fence off time for it and keep it the highest priority. This is a time for you and for the people there who are important to you. You cannot let whatever else is bothering you intrude on that time. Otherwise, you will start to let other parts of your life barge into that time. Trust me--I've been there. It's easier to set that time aside now rather than claw it back later.
If you want to stay sane in a time of burnout, you must give yourself permission to relax.
4. Consider ways to streamline session planning
Now, here's where some of my advice relates to classic "GM Burnout" talk. If you're burnt out, you don't have a lot of time and/or energy to do elaborate prep.
So don't do that.
If you're in the middle of something, you kinda have two options. The first is that you can just pivot to something that is less prep heavy for now. I promise you that your players will be OK with it. This is an OSR blog primarily, so I'm going to propose that you look at a hex crawl setting which is easy to run. Dolmenwood is practically made for this--you can just pick up the book and go. This may also be an opportunity to experiment with new game styles! GM-less gaming, anyone?
But if you are in the middle of something and don't want to pivot to a new game, you may want to consider making things a bit different for the next little while. These adjustments can take various forms, but consider:
- Making sessions shorter
- Diverging the campaign into a lengthy side quest that requires less prep
- Taking frequent breaks during the session
- Indulge in scenes longer than you might usually.
Overall, though, remember why you're here. The game makes you feel better, and you need whatever you can to help you feel better. Your players will understand a change, even if they don't notice.
Conclusion
I hope that this is helpful to, well, anyone. Mostly, I'm writing this to get my own thoughts down, so sorry if it wasn't especially helpful to your situation.
Times are hard, man. It's difficult out there. But despite that, it's important to carve out a space to be yourself and relax, even if it isn't exactly as much space as you're used to.
Peace!